It has been at least 5 months since I have taken Humira, and about 7 since I stopped mtx because it kills my stomach. I do prednisone bursts every once and a while, then go on to just 5mg pred a day, and well I have been off again for about two weeks! LOLLL, what a complete fool I am still!!
I have been trying to exercise and loose some weight, and I have, I went from 210 after I had the baby on 8-07, up to 238 a few months ago! I am at exactly 210 now and trying my hardest not to gain.
I got up yesterday morning and decided to go for a walk, so I went to 7-11 for a blunt wrap and went to the park. I went and done stretches and stuff and walked around the park and came home, I was gone for a lil over an hour, it felt soooooooooOOOO good! sO last night my body started hurting and my freakin right hip starts KILlllling me! LOL my husband was all, "oh thats just cus you exercised"!!! LOL like if I had never f;alje iairjging exercised before, and last night I was in complete aGoNy from my hip, MY FREAKIN HIP WTFF??!! I was up crying all night! So I decided to just take the Humira and just see if I can live life a little again before soMething kills my ass! My hip is almost frozen, from inflamation I presume and I can barely put any weight on it, I can't deal with this sh!T!!
I want to exercise and feel good after like before, like one is supposed to....I don't want to do exercise and have a frozen hip for a week after! I am seriously thinking about starting this paxil cr that I have...super scary!!
My husband came in the room this morning and I told him. I also told him that he should leave me and that he don't deserve to suffer just because I am all fUked up, and that there is really nothing I can do for him, I can't make love to him every day, and I don't even want to, and probably would'nt if I could......and that I am not gonna continue to try to make hIM happy all the while suffering and in pain while keeping a spotless house and dinner ready and bla bla, and then to feel like he don't appreciate it!......I can'T do it anymore, he thinks I am fine and just don't want to LOL, he kinda understands whats happened to me I guess..
I can't give my all to someone else who is not my child....not anymore....not now...not until my medicine starts working or something.......I am not in this for the years and five years of marriage means nothing to me, I never really wanted to marry in the first place and less now!
He just laid there and hugged me tighter.....................
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